The Doctor’s Order

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gourmez3Those of you who have read my column in the past two years know few things could bring me greater joy than the gift General Hospital gave us recently. That gift, of course, was the death of Connie Falconeri. It’s only the second time this incarnation of Kate Howard has delighted me. The first was a moment I will forever treasure: her unforgettable slaughtering of Sonny’s birthday cake.

You’re welcome. That moment was magical. And so was this one.

Connie diesHeaven. Full stop. No really, I don’t need to say anything else about it. Just that it happened is enough to fill my GH viewing hours with bliss. If I start thinking about Connie’s death too hard, I get distracted from what’s important—that Connie is dead—and remember that it’s dragged us into yet another dark, brooding Sonny turn.

I feel the same way, Sonny.

I feel the same way, Sonny.

And yet another psychic manifestation of Olivia’s.

kiki visionKiki in a wedding dress? That didn’t even make close to sense. Yeah, she recently got married, but guess what…it had nothing to do with Connie. Who isn’t getting married. Because she’s dead. She wasn’t even planning to get married anytime soon–two failed weddings to Sonny already, Olivia! At least I appreciated the humor of the baby jackal.

Remember that?

Remember that?

But I have no clue what Olivia’s vision of Kiki was meant to symbolize unless it was to remind us of that time Kate almost died, you know, when she was shot in the stomach on her wedding day before she and a few bonus personalities decided Sonny wasn’t that bad after all and took him back? Maybe it was that because Sonny was close to killing himself and thus almost died too?

But I’m letting things interfere with what’s truly significant again. Connie, and her multiple personalities that stomped all over the classy woman Kate Howard used to be in trashy heels and eye makeup, is dead. I rejoice. This rejoicing will see me through whatever pains and woes GH throws my way for the foreseeable future. And it gets better! Connie’s death is not my only shining viewership beacon these days. The other is nearly as beautiful, a moment of pure entertainment that made me surge with happiness. I have the lovely, and insane, Dr. Obrecht to thank for it.

obrecht singsHer karaoke song of victory was mine as well. Look, I am a simple fan. Occasionally, I wax poetic about character growth and the payoff of seeing justice be served for longtime viewers (See my enjoyment of Michael and AJ’s relationship for an example). But most of the time, I am more than content to let my soap opera entertain me with its implausibility. Dr. Obrecht’s karaoke serenade of doom hit all the right notes of that tune. Her monologue to the picture of Faison, Anna, and Robin was divine in its ridiculousness. She’s obsessed with Faison’s love in the same way Faison has always been obsessed with Anna’s. She thinks being a good mother is gleefully leading her daughter into the ways of the super villainy. She speaks in an over-the-top German accent that Luke Spencer could only dream of faking. I love everything about the Britchess. May she reign forever. Or at least beyond the inevitable rescue of Robin and the healing of Robert and Luke.  Which reminds me…

Sean DonnellySean Donnely was in the house! I’m not naming any names (Emma Samms), but John Reilly sure knows how to keep a secret return secret. I heard no peep about him appearing on the show during the Past Cast Event at the GH Fan Club Weekend, and it was a welcome surprise. I’m not sure why Sean’s daughter did most of the talking, but it doesn’t matter. Sean was onscreen! And he brought with him the gritty anger I had almost forgotten. I love how obvious his resentment of Luke for his paralysis still is. No one can scorn as well as Sean Donnely. I really hope we see him again.

But I don’t hope Ghost Georgie returns again.

georgie ghost surgeryYou are probably shocked I said such a thing, knowing what a big fan of Lindze Letherman I have always been. That’s the point, though. The more Ghost Georgie I see, the more I fear Georgie will never be brought back from the dead. Yes, I know Edward made a return after a ghostly stint, as did Anna. Soap opera fans should never give up hope of a timely reanimation. But I worry that the more her spirit form comforts Maxie, the less likely it is she’ll do the same in the flesh again. I’m a sucker for goodie-two-shoes characters on this show (Sabrina being a notable exception), and I miss Georgie. Wouldn’t she make a great friend for Ellie? Robin will need all the family she can get when she readjusts to life in Port Charles. And Maxie needs her sister so much now that her goose is cooked and she’s doomed to lose her best friends either because she can’t bear to watch them raise her child or because she caves and tells them the real truth. Georgie and Mac are the only people who have supported Maxie through thick and thin, whether or not she deserved it. And she should have that again.

In other words, I’m selfish. I was overflowing with love for General Hospital now that Connie has died, Dr. Obrecht can sing with German-accented gusto, and Sean Donnely graced our screens. And here I am now, lamenting the fact we’ve seen Georgie as a ghost rather than celebrating that we’ve seen her at all. Sorry! Time to put my party hat back on and get back to the festivities. But wait…what’s that I see? Another ghost?

Connie GhostNOOOOOOO! I thought we were safe! Now we’re cursed along with Sonny to have Connie haunt our television viewing? Happiness is such a fleeting gift. I should have treasured it while I could.


P.S. Sorry for the long wait between commentary columns! I think I will get back to at least monthly postings now that my great move westward is complete. See you soon! And thanks for reading.

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